Have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of strangers? It doesn’t feel very nice when we are our less-than-ideal selves in public.
For some people, failing is just part of their job. A ceramics teacher’s projects will collapse. Creating an album can come with roadblocks, no matter how experienced the musician is. And writers get hundreds of rejections before publishing a book.
There are other people whose jobs are to help you through failure, like therapists and religious leaders. Spoiler alert: They mess up sometimes, too.
If you need encouragement to start something new or endure hard times, learn how a ceramics teacher, musician, author, therapist and monk approach failure.
Meet the experts:
What’s your greatest failure?
Natalie Lima
“Having started drinking again after making a commitment not to drink. I can talk about this forever, but I feel like those failures were much needed.”
Pat Collins
“Not recording my own songs earlier. I released my first solo EP in 2019 and was happy with it, but a lot of songs were old by then, so I regret dragging my feet.”
Alexa Adamson
“It’s really easy to say, ‘Yes I want to be an artist and make that my full-time job’, but you have to consider that it’s also a business. My greatest failure is not understanding that fully.”
How do you bounce back from failure?
Alexa Adamson
“I have to give myself grace –I’ve never done this before. Just because one thing didn’t work out how I was envisioning doesn’t mean that the route is closed now.”
Jennifer Vincent
“Practicing does make perfect. That’s what I work on with my clients, but also my kiddos. We learn competence, self-awareness and emotional regulation skills, and those are really important.”
Natalie Lima
“Trying again is a big No. 1 for me. Writers face rejection all the time. I think it prepares you for every other kind of rejection that we experience as humans, whether getting rejected by a lover or rejected for a job.”
Lobzang
“If there’s something you’re passionate about and feel will be a benefit to others, keep persevering. I started writing (my book) in early 2000, and it was published in 2023. It was my heart’s desire to see that book in print, but I had to wait until all the conditions were right.
“Persevering means to do it in a joyful way because you see the virtue and service in it. There’s no despair in that.”
Pat Collins
“For me, it’s always been to just do things. Usually my weakness has been not doing things when I could have. It’s easy to wait. I learned if you really want to get something done, you have to move the needle.”
What makes you keep going?
Natalie Lima
“The small wins are often little reminders that I need to keep trying. So with an early writer, let’s say they get a lot of rejections, but they finally get a personal rejection. That is enough of an encouragement, I think, to remind you.”
Alexa Adamson
“That everlong search for knowledge. You need a willingness to get to know every aspect of what it is that you’re working with.”
What have you learned from failing?
Pat Collins
“For me, it’s been tricking my fear or anxieties into helping me. My first time in a band was the one that turned into Dell Zell when I was 19. I thought I wasn’t as good as they thought I was, and was terrified they were going to find out. That became my motivation to become good.”
Natalie Lima
“A life that has no failure is kind of boring, right? Or, at least, it feels like we haven’t taken chances.”
Jennifer Vincent
“I see my clients learn and gain confidence. I know it sounds counterintuitive, like, ‘How would I gain confidence when I didn’t do something well?’ Maybe an individual didn’t get the job they wanted and they don’t know why. But they try again, they redo their resume and get an even better job.”
Lobzang
“People should refrain from the whole discussion about what it means to ‘fail.’ I look at it from the standpoint of two lights: A red light and a green light. The green light tells me I’m going in the right direction. The red light tells me, ‘Hold up,’ because that’s not what is ultimately in your best interest.”
What advice do you have for people who fail?
Jennifer Vincent
“Slow down and feel whatever it is that’s failing. Sometimes we get so angry, we don’t sit in what’s going on. We feel a lot of insecurities. How do you sit in the feelings, recognize what that is, and then move forward, anyway?’’
Lobzang
“A lot of people believe the way to get ahead is to manipulate the external world. If we want the external world to change, we have to change our internal world and our thoughts about ourselves and others. Root out any negative thoughts, dive deep into your passion and understand what is really motivating you.”
Pat Collins
“Just to do it. I was absolutely terrified when I started, but I did it anyway. Surround yourself with people you think you can learn from and you will get better.”
Natalie Lima
“As cliche as it sounds, get back on the horse, but it doesn’t have to be right away. It could be after some introspection. So, try again. And it’s scary, particularly with art. We only get better with more time and effort.”
What have you failed to figure out about how things work in Indianapolis? Email Sophie Young, service journalism reporter, at sophie.young@mirrorindy.org.
Mirror Indy reporter Breanna Cooper covers arts and culture. Finally succeeded in an artistic endeavor? Email her at breanna.cooper@mirrorindy.org.
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