A local case has drawn national attention and sparked conversations about internet safety and protecting children.
In early January, 17-year-old Hailey Buzbee of Fishers went missing. She had met a 39-year-old man online, police said, and was found dead in Ohio after meeting him in person.
Mirror Indy spoke with Megan Banet, the program director for Indiana Center for Prevention of Youth Abuse and Suicide about online safety. The nonprofit provides trainings at schools.
Here’s what you need to know.
Understand grooming
Grooming is when a perpetrator builds a relationship with a child over time to facilitate sex abuse online or in person.
“They’ll compliment a child, adultify them, and figure out what they want or need,” Banet said. “Sometimes it’s concrete needs like money, other times it’s positive attention from an adult.”
Children and teenagers, she said, may feel like they are building a friendship.
“We have to talk to them about boundaries,” Banet said. “There’s no real way of knowing if a person online is safe or trustworthy.”
Establish boundaries
Parents can set ground rules for their kids around internet use. That could look like phones and technology only being used in common spaces at home, such as the living room. For older teens, Banet said, that might mean keeping the door to their room open.
Other options include keeping track of what apps your child installs, using parental controls, setting filters for explicit content and creating your own account to connect with them on social media or games. Banet recommends having conversations about private versus public accounts and what information isn’t safe to share online.
It’s important, though, to strike a balance between supervision and trust.
“You want to equip them with the skills to recognize unsafe situations,” Banet said. “That doesn’t necessarily mean you should be checking their chat history.”
But, she said, there are certain signs to watch out for.
Look for red flags
If a young person is being secretive or insistent you don’t see something, you may need to check their phone.
“Notice behavior changes and ask them what’s going on,” Banet said. “If your child wants to be online excessively or at specific times, that’s one.”
Other signs of potential abuse include:
- Using encrypted apps or seeking privacy for conversations
- Isolation from family and friends
- Discussing adult topics or using language inappropriate for their age
- Unexplained gifts or money
- Withdrawing from offline activities
- Mentioning friends or followers you do not know and being vague about who they are
Keep communication open
Parents may implement rules and still not catch something.
“We tell ourselves that it would never happen to me or my child,” Banet said. “We need to recognize that, despite our best efforts, sometimes bad things happen.”
That’s why open communication remains important.
“We may be having that conversation with a child at the exact right time for them to think about something weird that happened and share it,” Banet said, “And then we have a chance to intervene.”
Don’t blame your children
If a child is already in a dangerous situation, they need to feel safe enough to ask you or another trusted adult for help.
Make sure your kids know they can talk to you.
“If someone is sending explicit content or communicating with your child in a sexual manner, it is not their fault,” Banet said. “Tell them that.”
Take action
Banet recommends walking your kids through what to do if something bad happens. That includes saving screenshots of conversations, making in-app safety reports and alerting authorities.
If a young person is worried about explicit pictures, there are ways to stop them from spreading. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children has a “Take It Down” tool that removes nude or explicit photographs of any child under the age of 18 at the time it was taken. If you file a report, the free service creates a digital footprint of the image to track and remove it online.
You can also contact the organization’s CyberTipline to report child sexual abuse or exploitation.
Mirror Indy, a nonprofit newsroom, is funded through grants and donations from individuals, foundations and organizations.
Mirror Indy reporter Mary Claire Molloy covers health. Reach her at 317-721-7648 or email maryclaire.molloy@mirrorindy.org. Follow her on X @mcmolloy7.
Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under a Creative Commons license.
