Editor’s note: This story discusses domestic violence. If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or find local resources through the Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Bobbi Stoebick sits in the back of a courtroom every few weeks wearing a T-shirt that reads, “Stop domestic violence.”
Sometimes, she talks to victims or watches cases where someone violated a protective order. Every time, she also looks at the judge and wonders: Why wouldn’t the courts do more to protect her daughter?
Her daughter, Jessica Stoebick, was 47 when her estranged ex-husband killed her in an apparent murder-suicide, leaving behind four children.
He had been in and out of jail and court for violating protective orders, and Jessica Stoebick’s family said there were multiple opportunities to force him to face extra monitoring. After all, investigators were already aware of a history of stalking and harassment.
“The courts failed to protect her,” said Bobbi Stoebick, 67.
Now Stoebick is working to raise awareness about the issue, not only showing up to court but also reaching out to lawmakers.
She tells them about her daughter: A dedicated mother, who, after her children, was most committed to her job as a forensic nurse. She took care of children at the hospital after they experienced sexual violence. “You didn’t lose anything,” she would tell victims. “Someone took it from you.”
At 17, Jessica started working at Riley Children’s Health as a nursing student. From there, she worked shifts at nearly every Indy hospital, including Eskenazi Health, IU Health, Ascension St. Vincent and Community Health Network.
Her father remembers her as a ball of fire — opinionated, lively and a fierce advocate for her patients.
“She went the extra step,” Daniel Stoebick said, his voice cracking.
During a sexual assault exam, a victim’s clothes are taken as evidence. So Jessica Stoebick applied for grants to make sure her young patients at Riley Children’s Pediatric Center of Hope had soft robes or nice clothes instead of a hospital gown.
After her death, Riley Children’s Foundation started a campaign called Jessica’s Closet, which has raised over $33,000 for these items.
Raising awareness about domestic violence
For Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October, Stoebick’s parents are remembering her unique impact. But they know how she died is far too common.
More than 40% of Hoosier women experience domestic violence, according to National Coalition Against Domestic Violence data. That abuse can escalate and become deadly: More than half of female homicide victims are killed by a current or former male partner, according to the CDC.
How to help:
- Learn the signs of domestic violence
- Attend events with the Domestic Violence Prevention Network
- Donate to Jessica’s Closet
- Share this list of crisis hotlines
On Dec. 18, investigators say, Jessica Stoebick was shot and killed by her ex-husband, Ryan Gibbs, before he took his own life. Court records show a long history of abuse leading up to the killing, with Gibbs violating multiple protective orders as he continued to stalk and threaten his ex.
The Stoebicks say they will forever wonder why Gibbs was not placed on electronic monitoring by the judge.
“All she wanted was to be free of him,” Bobbi Stoebick told Mirror Indy. “I sit in court to learn more about how I can help future women.”
‘No one helps until there’s a fatality’
The family wants judges and law enforcement to do more to protect victims. They’ve been raising the issue with local legislators, including state Sen. Fady Qaddoura, a Democrat from Indianapolis.
Quaddora said he will introduce legislation in 2025 that would make it harder for perpetrators to get guns — the weapon of choice in more than half of intimate partner homicides. He is also looking into how Indiana courts handle protective orders and enforcement.
“Jessica’s story is all too common,” Qaddoura told Mirror Indy.
The Stoebicks know it is too late for their daughter. But there’s more harm to prevent and lives to save right now.
“To me, no one helps until there’s a fatality or almost a fatality,” Bobbi Stoebick said. “There are people that live with this everyday, and they need help too.”
At the funeral last year, people lined up to remember their daughter. That included the parents of children who were treated by Jessica Stoebick. They remembered her kind spirit, the ways she blanketed their children with new clothes and love.
“We are so proud of her,” said her dad Daniel Stoebick.
Mirror Indy reporter Mary Claire Molloy covers health. Reach her at 317-721-7648 or email maryclaire.molloy@mirrorindy.org. Follow her on X @mcmolloy7.
New Indy domestic violence plan centers on the needs of Black women
Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under a Creative Commons license.
