When Chasten Buttigieg set out to write his latest book, he wanted to tell a story of a family that looked like his. But he didn’t want to hit readers over the head with a big moral lesson.
“A lot of books specifically for the LGBTQ community are centered in a moral, upfront message that it’s OK to be different,” Buttigieg told Mirror Indy. “While those books are completely necessary and needed, I also wanted to read my kids a book at nighttime that didn’t maybe prompt a larger discussion or put difference front and center. I just wanted a cute, day-in-the-life story of a family like ours.”
The former teacher, author and husband to South Bend native and former U.S. Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg joined author John Green for a talk last week at the Indiana Repertory Theatre. The pair met in Green’s hometown, Indianapolis, to celebrate the publication of Buttigieg’s new children’s book, “Papa’s Coming Home.”
The talk was organized by Loudmouth Books, a local bookstore that specializes works written by Black, LGBTQ+ and other minority authors.
The book shares the light-hearted story of two siblings — Rosie and Jojo — who, in their excitement to welcome their Papa home from a trip, think of all the things he’d love to see in a special welcome home. The twins — who bear a striking resemblance to the Buttigiegs’ own toddlers, Gus and Penelope — think of everything: Papa’s slippers, his bicycle, flowers fresh from the garden, and even a seven-layer chocolate cake.
Their supportive Daddy helps them pack up the family van just in time to meet Papa at the airport — a place that holds special meaning in the Buttigieg family. Pete proposed to Chasten at O’Hare International Airport in Chicago.
Buttigieg and Green discussed the new book, parenting and what it’s like to raise kids in the public eye. Both Buttigieg and his husband seem to have captured the fascination of President Donald Trump, who appeared to mock the couple’s relationship in comments earlier this month from the Oval Office.
The authors also touched on book bans — something Green said Buttigieg is sure to experience as soon as his latest book is released. Green is no stranger to them. The Hamilton East Public Library board, on which Lt. Gov. Micah Beckwith served at the time, removed “The Fault in Our Stars” from its teen collection shelves two years ago.
“I wrote this book as a dad who wants to experience more joy reading books to his kids,” Buttigieg told Green last week. “If someone’s got a problem with that, let them explain it.”
Buttigieg has also written an autobiography, “I Have Something to Tell You.” The book and its young adult companion describe Buttigieg’s Midwestern upbringing, his coming out story and his transition to living in the public eye. His new release, “Papa’s Coming Home,” goes on sale Tuesday.
Mirror Indy caught up with Buttigieg for a Q&A before the talk. Here’s Mirror Indy’s interview, which has been edited lightly for length and clarity.
A ‘day-in-the-life’ story
Tell me how you’re feeling. You’ve done a book release a few times now. Do you ever settle into it or is it really exciting still?
Books take a long time to come out into the world. I started writing this book almost two years ago, so when my kids were two years old. (Now) we’re barreling towards four. So, I’m really excited. I’ve been waiting for this date for a really long time. I really love this story, and I’m excited to share it with people.
Tell me a little bit about the inspiration behind the book. There’s clearly some likenesses here. What was it like writing it?
This process started shortly after our kids were born when I was asking around for books that look like our family and I was coming up short. There are a couple of great ones out there, but as any parent will tell you, you read a lot of books to your kids. You go through a lot of books.
The thought for this book actually came on an airplane. I was flying home from a work trip, and the idea came to me: how excited the kids would be to have one of their dads coming home and what they might do to prepare. I also really like the sort of ‘yes, and…’ parents in the book. The dad is so excited to see how excited his kids are. He helps them pick out the flowers and helps them bake the cake and sort of goes along with their toddler hijinks.
I just really wanted a joyful book where there wasn’t really a lesson punching you in the face. I feel like a lot of books specifically for the LGBTQ community are centered in a moral, upfront message that it’s OK to be different. While those books are completely necessary and needed, I also wanted to read my kids a book at nighttime that didn’t maybe prompt a larger discussion or put difference front and center. I just wanted a cute, day-in-the-life story of a family like ours.
What do your kids think of the book? Have you had conversations about what it means to see yourselves in a book?
Dan Taylor, the illustrator, did such a phenomenal job with the book. What was really special for me was when I was going through some of the early versions of the artwork, Penelope, my daughter, came up behind me and saw me working on the laptop. She saw the artwork pulled up, and she was like, “Hey, that’s me. That’s Gus, that’s Daddy. That’s Papa. That’s Buddy, our dog.”
She just immediately saw herself in the artwork which was so cool and special to see. We’ve had my copy of the book for a couple months, and we read a lot. And this morning, my husband told our kids — he said, “Do you know where Dad’s going today? He’s going to go on a book tour. He’s going to take this book. He’s going to go share it with lots of people all around the country.” And our son said, “Well, is he gonna bring it back?”
Illustrations that capture spirit
You mentioned Dan Taylor. I was so struck by the art in this book. It’s really, really cool. Tell me more about that. Did you connect through your publisher? What was the experience like working with an illustrator?
Our agents connected us, but that’s because I put together a mood board, basically, of all of the books I love, of all of the art that I appreciated in the stories that I was reading to my kids.
You sort of speed date from there a little bit. Take meetings with other people, see some of their work, narrow the list down to a couple of folks, and then you get some early mock-ups of how they might interpret the book. Dan’s art just leapt off the page immediately.
I really feel like he captured the spirit of this book. What I wanted to see — the just overwhelming love pouring out of the book.
You’ve written a couple books before. It’s not new, but this is a children’s book. What was different about writing this one? What was the process like writing something that’s a little shorter, a little more colorful?
The last two books were pretty heavy and required a lot of push and pull with the editors. This one, it’s only 40 pages but you have to sit with the text for a long time. Once you figure out what it is you really want to say, it goes away for a long time. It goes off to Dan, and Dan works his magic with the art. So that’s why it takes quite a bit to get a children’s book out into the world.
So it was a little more isolating, but fun to work with my kids. Brainstorming some of the ideas, I’d bounce it off with them. There’s definitely a different process.
I’m curious what else you’re reading right now with your kids.
Parents will lament that sometimes you read the same book like 20 times, so right now we are reading Peter Rabbit. Someone gifted us a box set, and we are reading that one a lot.
They also really like the library at school which is funny for preschoolers. They sometimes bring home these really silly books, like “The Encyclopedia of Dinosaurs,” and that’s what they want to read before bedtime. I’m like “Do you want to read a story?” and they’re like, “No, I want to read this.” So, you just go through and struggle reading all the different names of dinosaurs.
But, Peter Rabbit is the one that we keep coming back to right now. There’s also a Bluey book that someone gave us. It’s like 20 different short Bluey stories.
We are so spoiled to have such a large library at home, and it is sort of frustrating sometimes the books that they gravitate toward. But really, I think half of storytime is just cuddling close and telling a story. They really don’t care what the story is. They just want to spend time with you.
Creating a universal message
You talked about not framing this story around a big moral lesson, but I do think people can walk away from this book with something, with a feeling. How would you characterize that?
I sent out some early advanced copies to folks, and someone sent me a text with a picture of their niece and nephew reading it. When they were done reading, they said, “I love how much they love their dads.” And that meant a lot to me because that’s all this book is about. It’s unconditional love for your kids, and I’m really glad that those kids picked up on it.
This is a book for everybody. It’s a book about parents who love their kids unconditionally. The Papa is obviously tickled to see that they packed the car full of all the things they think he will have missed, but in the end, he tells them, “The best part about coming home is you. It’s not material things. It’s not my bicycle. It’s not my model airplane. It’s you. You’re the best thing. You’re what makes home, home.” That’s a universal message that a lot of parents will appreciate.
I’m curious how parenting has changed you.
It changes everything. Parenting has given me such purpose. I always felt like I was doing good work. I think I was a good teacher. I think I’ve done an OK job in the political world, trying to figure out what to do with this platform and how to advocate and speak up.
Parenting has given me such a purpose where I just feel like this is what I was going to do. They also just make you look at things differently. You start to hear the clock ticking in the back of your head, and even though I’m 35, I’m already scared of what I will leave behind. Can I fix all of these problems for them? Will the world be an OK place for them?
You start thinking about advocacy and work differently. I think it has helped me and my husband grow as partners, and also just as people.
I’m also curious how you navigate the balance between living this very public life and being a public advocate, but also being protective as a parent. How do you find balance?
They grew up with a security detail growing up in Washington, D.C., and they used to call the agents Funny Man. Now, in Michigan, we can do a better job of shielding them from politics and public life.
They’re not on social media. It’s not like they’re reading the news every day. We can sort of try to give them as much privacy as possible. That’s why we make all the conscious choices not to post their faces on social media. If we can shield them from that, we will, because the little bit of privacy that we can afford them in a public light, for as much privacy as we can afford them, we’ll give them. They deserve to be kids, and they should get to appreciate childhood.
‘The joy that comes from parenting’
There’s a whole bunch of things the characters reach for in the book when they’re welcoming home their Papa. Are any of those based on real life? Have you made the seven-layer cake?
Some of the brainstorming for the end of the book was like “What else are we forgetting?” That came from Gus and Penelope, where it was “What are some of Papa’s favorite things?” His stinky cheese, getting off an airplane, and his books. Some of those things are definitely real, but I definitely don’t have a gorgeous peony garden, or the ability to make a perfect seven-layer chocolate cake.
Do you have any advice for young parents who are navigating parenting, too?
It’s very weird to give parenting advice. Something that Gus and Penelope have taught me a lot about is being grateful for being in the moment, especially coming from Washington and everything that we’ve gone through the last couple years. Getting offline and spending good quality time with them.
I know sometimes reading books like this can be like, “Oh my gosh, these parents have so much patience, and they say yes to everything.” Obviously, there’s an element of that that’s not real and everything, like it’s very hard to make a seven-layer chocolate cake and take the flowers and do all that and go to the airport. But, there’s an element of that excitement that I think we should hold on to. The joy that comes from parenting and the joy that comes from watching toddlers be themselves.
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Mirror Indy reporter Carley Lanich covers early childhood and K-12 education. Contact her at carley.lanich@mirrorindy.org or follow her on X @carleylanich.
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